I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize