I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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