I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
