yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
