you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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