i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I fill condoms, not promises.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
we're so committed to being not committed
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