Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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