I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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