he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
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facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
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You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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