i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
