you would pick up someone in the library
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
