my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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