Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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