A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
