my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
