she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Randomize