**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My bed smells like the plague
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
