You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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