shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
