We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I cockslap morals
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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