what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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