So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
