Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
