may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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