i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
i out mim tonsoeep
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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