try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
