I want you more than these girls want KFC
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
