you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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