Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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