I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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