I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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