So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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