oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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