New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i wish my penis had a tongue
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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