I CAN MOONWALK!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
