Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
