You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
