why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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