I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
