Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
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So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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