my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
