Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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