escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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