he thought i was a dude.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
