1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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