Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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