Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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