PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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