I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
