I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
