Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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