My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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