im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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