Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
