we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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