I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
