Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
