She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
