Need sex. Gaining weight.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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