Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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