It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
