I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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